In three days, I turn 31. That means I have been 30 for almost a full year. And, do you know what my resolution for my 30s was? (Well, in all honesty, it was to purchase one expensive bottle of preventative wrinkle cream a year in hopes it will help my face work its way into 40 youthfully), but for the sake of starting this post on a topical note, I will state my second resolution: Blog. Blog the lives of my children (yes, I have two now…more on that later). I want to remember their little idiosyncrasies, their tantrums, their quotes and their quirks. I want to have something other than a standard baby book that prompts only the generic cliched factoids like birth weight and height. I want to have a written recollection of when Coen told me he hiccuped and a booger came out (and he honestly thought the two were connected somehow). I want to remember exactly what I was doing when Mabel gave me her first full-face grin. I want to recall my ridiculous rollercoaster of emotions due to lack of sleep, failure to potty train, back-talking toddlerhood, an inconsolable infant who isn’t hungry, cold, hot, tired, sick, gassy, or wet …you name it. I want to be able to look back on a log of memories, good and bad, and be proud of the proof that I survived it all.
So, thus I begin. Not all posts will be long. Some may be as simple as “Holy shit, I can’t keep my eyes open because Mabel was up every 25 minutes last night so I’m going to bed at 7 p.m. Judge me if you dare.” But, at least I will know that, on that day of that month, my little girl was a poor sleeper. And in 30 years, I may find that amusing (not now though…seriously, I’m so tired!). New resolution: 3 blogs a week. Raise your hand if you think this is possible!? Hmm, doubting thomases by the dozens, I will prove you wrong.
Moment of catch-up
Since my last blog post, life has changed quite a bit. I shall summarize in bullet-point format for those with an attention span similar to yours truly:
- We had a baby girl. Kind of a big deal, right? January 12, 2012, Mabel Claire Brunner arrived one month early and came out via c-section an absolute picture of beauty. Full head of black hair, healthy (and getting healthier by the day) lungs, and cheeks that go on for miles. We are very fortunate and blessed to have her in our lives and we recognize this every single day.
- Coen moved to a big boy bed. Halloween weekend, 2011, we put together an adorable white toddler bed with a carved-out counting sheep headboard (this literally took an entire weekend…thanks IKEA). He pretty much loved it right away. Just recently, we have been able to tuck him in, kiss him goodnight, and leave the room. The first 4 months were spent reading books, then laying next to him until he was breathing his sleepy breaths. Funny how I kind of miss the “laying next to him” part of the equation now that it’s actually over.
- The painting of a new-to-us nursery. This transformation happened the same weekend as the toddler bed. Little to his knowledge, Coen’s green and blue bedroom was being half taken over by purple and white. His brown camouflage piggy bank now shares dresser space with a pig in a silver tiara and a tutu. One side of the armoire is now filled with robot slippers and Spiderman socks while the other holds tights with built-in Mary Janes and silver sparkly headbands. There is a crib and a bed in a very small space, but we love the layout and think it will work out just fine. It has to. We are, like, $40,000 underwater.
- Coen’s character obsessions have been, from oldest to newest: Elmo, Blues Clues, Thomas the Train, Snoopy, Cars, and most recently Toy Story. I can literally recite every word spoken by every character in every Toy Story movie Pixar has ever made. Not saying I’m proud of this, but “To Infinity and Beyond” actually holds some clever contextual meaning in a variety of adult conversations. I would know. I’ve subconsciously dropped it more times than I care to admit.
- I’m currently on maternity leave. I return to work full-time in 2 weeks. This makes me very sad. Almost sadder than I was with Coen. Not sure why, but I like to think it’s because I’m hella-better at balancing this mother thing the second time around. Adult interaction will be nice, but I wish I could do it in moderation…
- Wish granted! Nate and I have discussed it (along with my ever-so-flexible-and-wonderful managerial folk at work), and come this fall I will be going part-time at my job. 24 hour work-weeks and three full days home with my kiddos. I will be one happy mama and a very grateful wife when September comes.
- I have learned to hold my babies close and tell everyone I love them when they leave my sight. This life offers up a lot of freaking tragedy and I don’t like it. I have friends who have fertility issues, have experienced miscarriages, lost family members to evil diseases, gotten divorces…you name it. Most recently and heart-wrenchingly, I have a very close friend who lost her triplets at 22 weeks. Never in my life did I think I would hold a dead baby in my arms, and I did. Three of them, in fact. They were beautiful and perfect and I cried the whole ride home waiting until the moment I could hold my babies tightly in my arms and tell them I love them. I don’t understand why bad things happen, but I appreciate everything in my life more when they do. Strange how that works.
OK, it’s late and Nathan is snoring next to me so I’m calling it a blog post. Mabel will most likely be up 7 minutes after I fall asleep so I should probably make the most of those 7 minutes. Tomorrow is a new bright and shiny day, and will also bring my countdown to 31 to T-minus two days! Time flies when you’re having fun…
…(and by “fun” I mean chasing a toddler around Target because they missed nap time and are whiny and rude while you’re trying to balance a bottle in your newborn’s mouth with your chin and are pushing a cart filled with frozen goods that need to get home in the next two hours or they’ll melt and you’ll probably have to pay for them anyway because you DID after all remove them from the freezer section, but with what money will you pay for these watered-down groceries since your paycheck is smaller than average due to maternity leave and you already spent that extra surplus on those two knit dresses you just had to have because they covered your tummy paunch that wasn’t there 3 months ago but now it’s all you think about because it stares you in the face every night when you’re putting on that cute nighty but then decide to change into sweatpants and a hoodie cuz there’s no way your husband is going to want anything to do with THAT kind of stomach, thus preventing the creation of more children…so sleep soundly, my dear…) See? FUN!
This hot mess is to be continued. Seriously. I’m so tired.